We all get angry and it can be difficult to let go of, especially when we feel offended or justified but it is essential to our happiness to master the practice of letting things go. Someone cuts us off on our way to work, our inclination would likely be to honk, possibly flip the bird and perhaps even offer some choice words.

That extremely brief, insignificant occurrence may put us in a sour mood and derail our positive experience of the day. Somebody ate our last candy bar we had been saving for a night like this, the rage begins to build…wait…they drank our last Mountain Dew too!? We clench our fists and steam begins to come out of our ears.

The harsh words we desire to hurl fly through our minds, thoughts racing as we plan our next actions. We stew, we ruminate. Perhaps our anger further develops in complex ways over a short or long period of time or perhaps we impulsively said or did things in the heat of the moment we’ll later regret, or suffer consequences as a result of.

It’s extremely difficult to not react from anger, it pulls us sharply into emotion mind, territory where reason dare not tread. What if instead we could just let it go? This comes from creating the head state of wise mind, the synthesis between emotion mind and reasonable mind.

That thing that made us angry already occurred, a fixed part of the timeline that cannot be changed.

As the Buddha wisely pointed out, the embers of anger burn within us and bleed into other aspects of our lives, hardening and affecting us in ways we can’t realize.

Choosing not be angry does not mean we’re letting others win, quite the opposite in fact. By not getting angry we are keeping our power and becoming more patient and understanding which grants us access to peace. Without holding onto burning coals, not only can we still create solutions to solve triggering situations, we can solve them easier, more effectively and likely with better outcomes.

Let it go. Take a deep breath. Let it go.

Brandon

4 thoughts on “The Burning Coals Within Us

  1. colinandray says:

    It is so important to understand that while we are angry, we are letting somebody else have power over our emotions. i.e. In your traffic example where (my words) a “total moron shouldn’t be allowed to drive’. “You” would be really angry with all the medical implications of elevated blood pressure, laboured breathing etc. Your attention would no longer be 100% on driving. As for the “moron”? He/she is probably happy getting to wherever he/she was going. So we have you with a sequence of negative changes going on in your body and with a now increased risk of a traffic incident … and a “moron” who is blissfully driving along. Who is suffering the most?

    How do I handle (e.g.) traffic stupidity? While I will never condone what appears to me to be reckless driving, there could well be mitigating circumstances … an on-call surgeon responding to an emergency? Unmarked police car responding? A man rushing home due to an emergency? There are many reasons which might explain bad driving. None of them can be condoned, but they might create an understanding of the circumstances.

    The above analogy can be applied to so many “irritating” situations. If we can understand and/or see a situation from another person’s perspective, we are likely to react quite differently … and probably live longer as a result! šŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Colin for your meaningful response those are all really good points and powerful additions to the message I wanted to get accross :).

      Like

    2. yes! no more road rage!

      Liked by 1 person

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