Seeing The Best In Others

Relationships are usually fun at their beginning, at least at the point we decide its worth it to invest ourselves in getting to know a person and giving them a chance to know us. Something catches our interest, draws us to them, or we may be just lonely and seeking someone.

At first we have our best selves on display, careful to not let any of our flaws or faults slip out or be observed. As we become comfortable with them these aspects of us begin to leak out, slowly at first, and then at some point the dam bursts. Sometimes small resentments start to build which may fester and grow into significant dislikes. We can begin to see our person as annoying or not worth dealing with their static and negativity. We may complain about these things to others and live with unhappiness or even just end the relationship.

How do couples stay happy together and keep the flame burning? They choose that the things they like about their person outweigh their flaws and faults.

The match that struck the fire is remembered and they focus on what they enjoy and admire about them, looking past what they may not and giving head and heart space to those things, letting the dampening effects of annoyances and grievances remain at arm’s length where they cannot smother the flame.

These same principles apply to all types of relationships, including friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. Seeing the best in others and taking them in through that lense allows us to have sustainable and happy relationships.

13 thoughts on “Seeing The Best In Others

  1. Wise Hearted May 17, 2020 / 1:52 pm

    Good read Brandon. After 55 years of married life and 73 years and countless relationship with people all over the world I have come to some conclusions. It is two way street in relationships. Not all relationship are meant for me, which was hard for me since I am such a people person. But I think the thing that helped me the most was, first, accepting myself, being a friend to myself. Finding someone who loved me unconditionally, which was Jesus Christ. I have yet to find anyone but Him who does not disappointment in some way and me them. I don’t believe in equal so much anymore, one day I might give more, the next day my husband may give more. It’s what ever works for that time in my or his need. Same for friends. I have some needy friends and I chose to not share a lot wiht them because they cannot handle my need on top of theirs and that is ok. But I cannot take a steady diet of those kinds of friends, and it helps when I make the contact on my terms so I do not slight others who have needs. I pick my deep close friends very carefully, they are few. My daughter is my best friend because she knows me best and loves me best just the way I am. Also my son does no. My husband would love to change more of me to fit him but we both have given up on that. I am an extrovert, love people, comfortable around most anyone, he is introvert, needs lots of alone time. WE have come to appreiciate each other in our gifting. I love seeing the best in others but with discernment. God tells us to think on those things that are lovely and of a good report concerning others. That works good unless you get that gut feeling that a person is out for themselves only, those I stay away from if possible. Again good read.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Counselor Brandon May 17, 2020 / 2:10 pm

      Thank you for your compliment and for sharing of yourself. I agree with much you have to say and appreciate hearing your perspective. Some people were only meant to be in our lives for a specific time period, others for the duration πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Kingston Lim May 17, 2020 / 8:31 am

    ‘Seeing the best in others and taking them in through that lense allows us to have sustainable and happy relationships.’

    Seeing the best in them is important, and it’s important to recognize they are human and have flaws too.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Counselor Brandon May 17, 2020 / 2:15 pm

      Absolutely. Recognizing that is important for many reasons but definitely so we don’t develop unrealistic or infeasible expectations, which if when aren’t met can begin to make those shortcomings begin to make seeing the best in them challenging. Thanks for your comment Kingston.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. anitashope May 16, 2020 / 6:22 pm

    Both partners MUST be willing to put in the work. It ain’t easy but it is worth it. But it must be equal.

    Liked by 2 people

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